They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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