I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
