fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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