just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
