So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
