Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
