So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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