Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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