Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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