My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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