Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
