Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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