I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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