Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize