Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize