if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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