i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize