The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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