I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
