I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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