I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
