Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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