new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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