sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
