I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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