Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
