used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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