I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
The air taste purple.
Randomize