Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My vagina just clenched in fear
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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