I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
