I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
