Got a toothbrush?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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