Grow some girl-balls and come out already
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
