Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize