It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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