So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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