ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
