I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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