i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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