Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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