he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
