Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
