You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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