Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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