They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.