my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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