If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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