Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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