i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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