just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You work out of a Hotel?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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