I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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