if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
