she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
