Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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