Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
