you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
