Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
my phone needs a breathalizer
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
