got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My ass is underappreciated
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
